the one’s who don’t belong
Ten Cuidado: Contrast your immediate reaction to the image from how you feel after reading the story.
Here’s a story of ‘new ‘dog’ anxiety, learning how to defy gravity of perceptions.
That’s a couple of Gringos having fun in Colombia. I think, but don’t know, Colombianos poking fun at them. “Remember when you and your posse were making fun of the new dog from somewhere else?” Yup, turns out he was a cool dude. Took a while but we accepted him into our tribe.
“GringoLombia, puppy, we’re gringos in Colombia. But we travel to park on foot with a pink bag, not motor around desert on a dirt bike. Either way we’re ‘Gringos’ labelled by some as ‘The Ones That Don’t Belong.’” Oh, I get it, kinda like people think I’m not a ‘real dog’ just because I’m tiny. “It’s the stereotype thing we all fallen victim to that mindset. Happens in EEU as much as Colombia.”
Dad, here’s my plan. I’m going to be as sweet and adorable as possible. “A logical appeal puppy. Sometimes logical appeals work, but despite best efforts, other times they don’t. Just learn, accept that incident and don’t give up and BE LIKEABLE, charasmatic with the right amount of sassy.”
“Twink, you’re a natural. Sometimes your Dad, does things that make him unlikeable regardless of country of incident. Whenever I head down that bad path, give me your textbook ‘glare of disdain,’ I need your coaching.” No problemo Padre.
What the heck is this this? “Bunch of Colombians making fun of gringos just as much as they’re making fun of Colombians.”
‘bout to freak out, oh chihuahua
Here’s a story of having the right amount of paranoia, calming down under pressure.
We are feeling increasing more comfortable in our new environment, but never TOO comfortable, heads on a swivel. As our fellow foreign adventurer Ted Lasso said,
“Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, if you’re too comfortable you’re not doing it right.”
Dad takes me to this back alley place in Medellin, Colombia. Can smell hot dogs, Dad, I don’t read so good, translado por favor? As he perched me on the counter for a rare ‘couldn’t be helped’ photo opp, he was doubling over in laughter. Dad translates, “Jajaja Twinkle, in Colombia, a Chihuahua is man’s best friend because it’s a bargain mini hot dog that makes for good eating.”
Whew, Twinkle isn’t comida.
Oh, Dad I nervosa, you just darme another test. Meanwhile the Colombianos waiting in line got the ‘broma’ they’re laughing harder than Dad. “Look at La Gente (the people) they got the joke, the context.”
“Our basic tenets which need to be upheld daily: Head on a swivel, hummingbird eyes, never too comfortable puppy.”
Got it, good plan.
Bringing the passi0n
Here’s a story about personal priorities and passion.
“Twink, passion is a visceral obsession. And it’s a constant presence. In some cases your passion can be shared, other times it could be an escape.”
Thing I love about you humans is your passion for dogs. Can’t keep yourself away from dog books, dog videos, dog toys. Hell you love us more than most of your friends and family.
“Twink, THE MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do is find the passion in your life.” I’m passionate about walks, quality time with you, those my passions.
Didn’t take long for me to figure out Latino’s first passion is familia. Hermana abandons me every Sunday or when her relatives are in town. We’re never invited but thats ok. We’re friends but not part of her familia. It’s their time. Famlia in Colombian cultura is their top passion. A guiding principal that governs their lives.
“Twink for Colombianos, futbol is a distant second passion, but passion nevertheless. It plays a key societal role. Where familia is a private club, futbol is a nation-wide connective tissue. Both bring joy, an escape from what all too often is a dull existence.”
“Familia y futbol, a good balance.”
Dad and I share a passion for the park and Hermana rarely joins us because she recognizes that as our ‘family time.’
But all three of us watch futbol together.
Translating ‘benedict arnold’
Here’s a story of realizing your message isn’t understood then making it relatable.
I understand 150-300 human words. Just listen for those keywords, and construct the intent from there. But you darn Americans verbiage loaded with metaphors and historical references. Them create general confusion amongst both dogs and Colombianas.
Dad’s been gone for a couple of days. Hermana is taking care of me. I’m elated. Love him, but it’s good to have a female bonding stay-cation.
“Daddy’s home, good to see you two. Twink let’s go to your favorite park.” When he attempted to separate me from Hermana, I tried to bite him.
“Twinkle is Benedict Arnold.”
I had no idea what that meant neither did Hermana Colombiana. Dad stroked his chin, twirled his glasses (buying time) turned in direction of Hermana Colombiana and said in Spanish, “Benedict Arnold, thought they were your friend, turns out they weren’t.”
Hermana replies “Ah si, entendiende.” Later that afternoon Hermana was on the bus going home, saw this sign. “Twink look what your sister sent us.” Ya Dad, she’s observant, rapid learner, quick thinker just like me.
que Es ‘transparencia’
Here’s a story of the importance of message timing, exploring the right amount of opaque.
I don’t like it when Dad leaves me in the dark. Sometimes he tells me something that I wanna hear knowing full well he can’t deliver. Or hatching some plot to momentarily ditch this bitch but doesn’t share any of his plans with me. Lack of transparency is a graduate schoool form of lying.
It’s Navidad, Hermana took me and Dad to this quaint colonial town, Festival of Lights. Those from ‘Stone-Fruit Landia’ (Country of Coffee) do Navidad right. It’s a time when Colombians truly eschew the trials, tribulations of their lives. There’s this beautiful display, I ask Hermana what does that sign mean?
She shrugged her shoulders sighed. “Transparency in your language.” Que? “Has Padre every deceived you?” For sure, but only once in a while. Didn’t like it but wasn’t that bad. I suppose he did it for my own good.
Hermana said, “Us Colombianos have been deceived by our leadership FOREVER and it WAS SEVERE-BAD. They have the huevos to put up this billboard, Navidad of all times. “Oh now everything’s going to be transparent, a new age. we’re gonna change, it will get better.” MIERDA!!! I looked at Hermana, her disgust, It’s not going to be better is it. Now she’s really pissed.
As we head back into town she says, “If you and Padre intend to be here for a while you both need to learn the language, learn our culture.”
Well he loves futbol. “That’s the only reason why I hang out with him, jaja.”
senor canas hombre de la gente
Here’s a story of ‘what you look like isn’t how you think like’ and genuinely leveraging a shared passion.
”Twinkles there’s the elitist corporate luminatti (El Lefe) visiting their rank and file, (La Gente.) Sometimes Jefe really care, sometimes its nothing more than a photo opp. La Gente can smell the difference. It takes real skill, real effort, real genuine to build bridges across classes, across cultures.”
Other times it comes naturally. In our case it was my cute, Dad’s love of futbol. He abandoned me to go to futbol match with our buddy, Hernan. Said something about ‘Medellin El Classico’ a battle between Medellin’s two biggest teams who happen to share the same stadium.
Only way Dad gets in to this ‘Holy Event’ is if he’s accompanied by Colombiano. When he came home I asked him how was it?
“Dog, it was an unbridled frenzy of emotion start to finish, great game. Gracia dios, we won. Your Dad was like a grey-haired color analyst, consistently pointing out strategies, predicting what would happen next.”
“About mid-way thru, a girl behind Hernan and I patted me on the back and said, (in Spanish) ‘Gringo know more about futbol than us. We like this Gringo. He Man of the People.’”
Yup, I do the cute, Dad does the Hombre de Gente. A powerful combo.
”Effort to be likeable, effort to be genuine.”
high stakes acceptance test
Here’s a story of challenging your adaptivity (SHOW YOU KNOW), confidence, time + tests = trust.
“Twinkles we’ve been here for a while. We got the Medellin thing down.” Dad-verdad.
“So it’s time to see if the job skills we developed are transferrable.” My cute is forever transferrable. “De verdad tiny one.”
“We are going to the most wonderfull beach area in all of Colombia, Santa Marta.” Yeah, Twinkle super la gusta la playa.
“Ten cuidado, this place belongs exclusively to ‘LA GENTE.’ We’ll be the only gringo there. It’s a prueba, a test of our ability to demonstrate that WE BELONG, understand we get not just the language but culture as well. Have to build a network from scratch, quick. Kinda like starting a new job, in a new place.”
Now look over there by those rocks. We’ve seen the movie Blow a bunch of times, well just out yonder is where Boston George got the snot knocked out of him. George never understood the culture. Paid the price. We have to conform, behave, make ourselves likeable.
SHOW WE KNOW NOW.
We’ve been at same beach for several days, everybody had an eye on the gringo freaks. As we put beach towel down I could smell the Final Entrance Exam.
Colombianos walk over to us, grins from ear to ear, “Gringos join us in our beach tent.” We looked at each other … this could be either really good or really bad. Con confia Padre.
Los Colombianos poured a liquid that smelled like lighter fluid La Gente and Dad held the cups high “Salud.” About two hours later, bottle of Aguadiente (fire water) was drained we folded the tent, new friends, a great time.
Took some time, passed tests, gained trust.
Dad shivered when he drank his first Aguadiente, he Did Something He Didn’t Want to Do. But it helped to advance our status as Hombres de Gente (People of the People.)
“We got the acceptance thing done in 4 days puppy.”
Nope it took two years.
life and death of a guinea pig
Here’s a story of realizing your fate is sealed, one way or another.
Twink name me one of the secrets to our success. Well there’s a lot, but must say we did some crazy things, but we did our research in advance. Wasn’t like we were some test animal..
BAD NEWS: IF YOU’RE A GUIENEA PIG, GONNA BE SOME TYPE OF ‘MAL-EVENT’ AT SOME POINT.
’s this Gary the Guinea Pig. A main food source for Peruvians back in the day. Twinkie tried a bite, “Little greasy, fatty. We should have got the fried version.” That said my dog nature is naturally pre-disposed to hate rodents.
Can be sauteed or fried, either way head remains in tact. Delicacy, most expensive thing on Menu
Locally it’s known as ‘cuy’ (pronounced KOO-wee)
beware the cobra
This is a story of ‘hummingbird eyes, anxiety can save.
ever been in a sketchy situation, a stranger comes to your rescue. Treat you like a king, queen, too good to be true.. Above and beyond too good to be true.
Dad, remember the smell thing. “He just ask how much did I buy you for. Jeez does he look like a shady character or what? Now he’s acting like it.
Ever been to Lima? It’s kinda like Bogota, seedy back roads to get to centro. This guy saves us, we had no way to the hotel.
“You should see the Palace tomorrow, take you in the morning.” Great, we gotta guy. Protest at the Palace, all roads blocked guess who comes to rescue again?
On way back, “How much you pay for watch, what does dog cost, how much money you make?” Atypical. “Take you to airport early morning tomorrow.
“Uh, no you’re not.”