‘La Aventura.’ Entertaing, insightful true stories of a gringo who adopts his ex-wife’s dog and moves to Latin America

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Pondering …

We all have copious numbers of ‘subordinates’ in our lives. They so desire to help us, but sometimes our hubris, stubborness proves a roadblock to the flow of truly creative ideas. What miracles could occur if we started to value their input, truly listen to our ‘caddies?’

Who’s Your Caddy?

My 2-kg chihuahua named Twinkles and I are doing this buddy road trip, ‘La Aventura’ throughout Latin America. At this juncture, we’re domiciled in Panama City, Panama. I’m trying to figure out what ‘aventura’ is next on the magical mystery tour.

Y’all know when you’re at a touristy hotel they load up your room with pamphlets

• General excursions

• While you’re here try this

• Fun little side-trips

• Gotta sunburn can’t go to the pool

Well of course we already went to Panama Canal (it’s pretty darn impressive) but my partner, a tiny dog named Twinkles, she’s more of a beach girl. With that in mind, I’m filing through shiny pieces of paper and then, “Well this looks interesting.”

“Hey dog, wake up. We’re going to this place called Isla Contadora. It means ‘Island of the Accountant.’ Perfect, I’m a finance guy!”

“Twinkles, this place is just about as tiny as you. Let’s go breathe some life into the stale existence of the ‘Accountant.’ Shouldn’t be too tough. Looks like a two-hour ferry ride. Accommodations look ok. “Ever been on a boat, tiny one?”

Dog gives me an indifferent look. She has no choice. Deep in thought, she furrows her brow as if to say, “Do you think they have any tiny dog life vests? Do dogs get seasick?”

As we approach the ferry dock, cant help but notice our theoretically sea-worthy vessel is rather compact, looks to be equivalent to the ‘Nau-sea.’ Remember scene from Flintstones where Fred and Barney buy a boat? Fred wants to call it ‘Nautilus,’ Barney fancies ‘Sea Horse’ so they settle, name the boat the ‘Nau-sea.’ A fit appellation for this craft as well.

Weather is fine but because ship is rather small, for two-hours we’re feeling every wave’s slow roll. By about mid-journey, most all of the passengers weren’t in their seats. Instead, we’re leaning over the gunnels in agony, ‘green in the gills.’

Tiny Boat, Tiny Island, Tiny Dog

Finally, were elated to see terra firma! With wobbly sea legs, we grabbed our bags and the collective prepare to disem-bark (jajaja.) “Hey Twinkles, we got a real problem here, where’s the dock?” Ain’t no dock, we’re going to have to wade into the knee-deep water and trudge it 50-metres to shore. A realistic preview of this minimalistic place.

Now here’s the good news about Isla Contradora. Once ashore you might be soaked upon arrival, but they make it up for it with very practical ‘concierge services.’ You don’t have to go to the Hertz counter it comes to you!

As I brush wet sand from the bags, Sr. Hertz approaches us, “Bienvenido a Isla Contadora Sr. Corr and uhh” in amazement of the tiny dog.

“Her name’s Twinkle. Kinda like ‘Brilla Estrella.’ Ya know the children’s song, ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.’”

Sr. Hertz smiles then replies, “Oh I so much love that song, sing it to the ninos todo de noches ante dormir si. So your transportation is right over there. Let me hand you the keys.” He points to a gas-motorized golf cart. It’s a monster. Ain’t no ordinary golf cart, got some muscle.

“But Sr. Corr it has very little gas, you must fuel it in advance. I need $20 for the gas then will phone ahead to my brother to get the pump ready. Please, pay me now.” The ol’ prepaid gas option trick. We got that in USA too. He provides brief directions to get to the gas station, not too far.

WELL TURNS OUT IT’S THE ONLY ONE IN TOWN!

“Something’s Special Here, I Can Sniff It”

“Ok tiny dog, let’s explore ‘The Island of the Accountant.’ At first blush it lived up to the titular promise: BORING! But I’d submit a lotta places might look boring on the outside but if you look hard enough, there might be a buried treasure you might just stumble upon. Some rare gem that makes it unique.

We drop the bags at our ‘spartan domicile’ and start cruising. “This bad boy got some get up and go! This is fun!!” We’re going 25mph in this open air vehicle.

So think about your dog, how much she loves to stick her nose out the window. Twinkles is in pure puppy paradise. Abundant, complex smells of the flora and fauna rushing at her 360-degrees … that’s an olifactory dog paradise. Dog smile from ear to ear.

As we tour this tiny isla, 9-minutes long, 5-minutes wide (via cart) we approach the ‘sunny side of the bay.’ Twinkles overcome by sensory overload does her trademark slow rolling bark under her breath. “Rhmmm.” That’s dog talk for ‘pay attention.’ Either a sign of danger or something in need of investigation.

We park our golf cart next to the others in this hotel’s lot. “Hey dog, get a good smell on our vehicle, all these contraptions look the same.”

This Place is ALL OVER THE PLACE.

“Twinkle, I’ve seen a lot of beach hotels. But this one best described as ‘unique.’ It’s a cross between …

Kitschy: (⫽kɪtʃ⫽ KITCH; loanword from German) is a term applied to art and design that is perceived as naïve imitation, overly eccentric, gratuitous or of banal taste. AND

Bohemian: See definition for Kitschy.

It’s time for lunch, so we proceed to the patio restaurant, snag a great table with a view and order some comida. Hungry. After all my breakfast got puked over rails of the NauSeau. Looking around, everything piques my curiosity. Fascinated by this beautiful mess. Not saying it’s bad, rather ‘untraditional.’ A collection of beautiful pieces that combine for a general train wreck.

Wrapped up lunch, “Hey puppy, let’s sniff this place out. WTF! They have a 9-hole miniature golf course. Twinkles you’re my caddy. Vamos!” A f’n nine-hole golf course at a beach-side resort. Not surprising well because here unconventional is ‘par for the course.’

The courses’‘fairways’ appear a bit hard. Why? Because they’re made of cement painted green. Guess the astro-turf must be on back order. And they were crumbling at a seemingly greater pace relative to that of the overall demise.

Get it, ‘demise.’

I go to the front desk, “Hey we wanna get in a quick nine at your Bohemian Beach Golf Club. What’s the um, they really aren’t greens-fees, kinda like painted cement-fees, But anyways what’s the charge?”

Her reply, “Nothing. Nobody’s played the course since I’ve been working here.”

Grab a blade putter, purple golf ball no need to hit the range. Boy and his dog stroll towards the on to #1 tee! Checked the card, yardages and the Bohemian Beach Golf Club aventura begins! Miniature golf with a miniature dog!!!

Miniature Golf: Feel Like a Kid Again!!

Just like real golf, the game provides mental stimulation as players need to analyze obstacles, strategize shots, practice focus and patience. But whereas actual golf puts a premium on physical execution, mini golf is more about trickery, guile, and luck.

It has all of the fun things we loved as kids …

• The Circus: putt it thru the clown’s mouth.

• The State Fair: get timing right to catch the ferris wheel that might to drop ball into hole.

• The Pool Hall: similar to bumper billiards, some holes on the course provide an array of fixed, cushioned obstacles.

“Twinkle, you’re my caddy, looper, jock. This is your first-time golfing. All I have is a putter, I can carry it. All you need to do is just shove your tiny muzzle into the tiny subteranian opening there, grab the tiny ball and we’re onto the next TINY hole.”

“Sounds like manual labor. But if you do it right, your role can be so much more. Twinkle, a REAL cadddy has to have the following characteristics, I’ll rattle them off …”

1. Understanding of the Game: A good caddy needs to have a strong understanding of golf, including rules, strategies, and the nuances of different courses.

2. Knowledge of Your Dad's Skill Level: It's important for you to understand my strengths and weaknesses. This will help you provide me with tailored advice and support.

3. Excellent Communication Skills: A caddy must be able to communicate clearly and effectively. Encouraging and motivating when needed, while also knowing when to step back, leave me space to cool off. Crucial.

4. Problem-Solving Abilities: Twinkles, you should be able to think on your paws and offer solutions to any challenges that arise on the course, such as suggesting alternative strategies for difficult shots.

5. Positive Attitude and Encouragement: Keeping me optimistic and boosting my morale can significantly impact my performance. Complimenting me on good shots and providing support during tough moments is essential.

6. Patience and Support: Patience is key, especially during practice rounds or challenging games. Providing consistent support and enjoying the time we spend together can make the experience more enjoyable and productive.

“As They Approach The Last”

After a see-saw first eight holes we approach the ninth, ‘The Last.’ I’m starting to get a feel for things. How hard to strike the ball, reading the breaks, cracks, all of which are amplified given the rock hard nature of the course.

Normally I’d be checking the scorecard. How many shots to par. We weren’t keeping score. What’s the point? Our minds were focused on this unique experience, one we’ve never felt before. Kinda but not really like when I played Pebble Beach. Just immerse yourself in grandeur.

Having good time with your bestie!

Teeing it up on #9, I began to ‘envision the hole’ as the pros would say, do a general assessment.

FORGET IT!

“Twinkle this is mini-golf hole seems impossible. Can you please check this out, maybe I’m missing something.”

She had earned the right, THE HONOR to not just be a ‘looper’ a ‘jock.’ I could tell she was ready to be a trusted advisor. A caddy in the elevated definition, true sense of the word.

With confidence and resolve, Twinkles looked up, “Dad, I’ll go sniff it out. My job is to give you a different POV.”

My conventional thought was it’s a par-5, moves downhill, dog-leg (JAJAJA) left. The unavoidable water hazard -- impossible. The hole located at the crest of the heart of seashells -- impossible.

As Twinkles started her independent evaluation, a spotless mind of sorts, she headed down to the grassy area where her beach bag was, looked up at me on the tee.

She then proceeds to go towards the hole in what’s definitely described as a tough pin location nestled atop the heart-shaped collection of seashells, She rests her muzzle on the guardrail and again looks at me.

Essentially, she said, “Mira all the real grass by the beach bag. Just chip it there. Then carom next shot off the guardrail, it’ll roll right into the hole. Next thing you know I’m marking down eagle, picking ball outta the hole with my tiny snout.”

In the Innocence Comes the BRILLIANCE!

Now, couldn’t execute her strategy because we only had a putter. Didn’t have the right tools to do the job right. Arguably I didn’t have the right skills either. The beauty? SHE THOUGHT DIFFERENT, THOUGHT BETTER!

Twinkles might be a newbie, but definitely a quick learner. Her thought wasn’t encumbered, she came up with the perfect creative solution.

Twinkles looks at me, almost as if to say, “Caddies aren’t sidekicks, the best don’t simply carry a bag. They expand the possible, that’s what I do Dad. I’m more than just The Caddy of Cute!” Profound advice from a miniature dog on a miniature golf course.

Can’t Live Without a Good ‘Caddy?’

The term ‘caddy’ can be used metaphorically to describe someone who provides support and assistance, often behind the scenes, enabling another person to perform their tasks more effectively. Just as a golf caddy helps a golfer by carrying clubs, providing advice, and boosting morale, a ‘caddy’ in a metaphorical sense might refer to someone who supports another in any professional or personal endeavor. This metaphor emphasizes the importance of the supporting role in achieving success, even though the focus is typically on the main performer.

- "In our project team, Sarah is the caddy who keeps everything organized and ensures we all stay on track."

- "As a mentor, he acted like a caddy for his students, offering guidance and encouragement."

So, DADDY, WHO’S YOUR CADDY?