“Some Just Don’t Belong”

Why are some readily accepted, others greeted with skepticism?

Pondering …

Is social acceptance criteria essentially rooted in each culture’s ‘Societal Values?’

Don’t rent videotapes to this individual

Look at the picture of Twinkle, the adorable adventurer and check the ones that might limit her acceptance:

A.     Looks a little ‘ratchet’

B.     Enjoys wallowing in disheveled, unkept environments

C.    Canine without a wallet (wolf and waltz)

D.     Might just be a ‘party animal’

E.     Dog

F.     All the above

“Who Makes the Rules?” THEY DO. “Who says we must abide?” THEM!!!

Well, it’s not so much individuals that are the They/Them. I’d submit ‘Rules’ are fundamentally rooted in Social/Cultural Norms. To test this, let’s use a universally sympathetic figure (dog) present two nations on opposite ends of the ‘acceptance spectrum,’ and wrap it up with a story that explains this life’s mystery.

When it comes to a dog’s social acceptance from my experience France is on one end, Colombia on the other. Could it be that one nation ‘likes’ (by measurement of dogs/capita) more than the other?

France, Colombia (and The States) have roughly equal per capita dog ownership, 22% +/- 2pts. Why are dogs more publicly accepted in France than Colombia? Clearly it’s not popularity. Rather could public acceptance be based on societal values?

France’s dog acceptance at far end of Western Culture? What explains that?

1. Part of the Family:  In France, dogs are often considered part of the family and are deeply integrated into daily life. This cultural norm allows dogs to be welcomed in a variety of public places, including restaurants, cafes, and shops. This contrasts with other cultures where dogs are seen primarily as outdoor pets or are kept away from public spaces due to hygiene concerns.

2. Supportive Laws: This is hugely important because laws trump rules. French laws generally permit dogs in many public areas as long as they are under their owner's control. For example, while there are laws requiring dogs to be closely supervised, there is no widespread ban on dogs in public places.

3. Public Behavior and Training: French dog owners are often diligent about training and socializing their dogs, which reduces the likelihood of disruptive behavior in public spaces. Well-behaved dogs are more likely to be accepted in public areas, contributing to a cycle of mutual respect and acceptance.

4. Attitudes of Acceptance and Accommodation: Many French establishments, including high-end hotels and restaurants, accept dogs, sometimes imposing a ‘small fee.’  As opposed to some places in Latin America that if they do allow dogs, are likely to tack on a $250/stay ‘cleaning fee.’

Now here’s a picture of the Tiny One having a birthday party. This most certainly be in France! Nope, it’s in Latin America. That’s in Panama, what about their neighbors who happen to share a border?

Colombia’s dog acceptance at far end of Latin American culture? What explains that?

1. Cultural Values: Cleanliness is deeply embedded in Colombian culture. It is often seen as a reflection of one's self-respect and respect for others. Maintaining personal hygiene and a clean environment is considered essential for social interactions and personal dignity.

2. Health and Well-being: The emphasis on hygiene is also linked to health considerations. Colombians are taught from a young age about the importance of cleanliness in preventing diseases and maintaining good health. This is reinforced through public health campaigns.

3. Social Expectations: There are strong social expectations regarding cleanliness. People are often judged by their appearance and hygiene, and failing to meet these standards can lead to social stigma. This creates a societal pressure to adhere to high standards of cleanliness .

Let’s Test the Hypothesis: A Story About a Dog’s First Trip to Colombia!

Spoiler Alert: We called Medellin ‘home’ for the next three years. Tough to believe because our first impression was quite inauspicious.

Everybody’s been on Trip Advisor to check reviews. Well, ‘Don’t believe everything you read,’ especially it’s a potentially shady place. So asked a trusted friend who’s taken many a trip to Colombia, Medellin in particular, where we should stay.

“Is it in a safe area? Is it dog-friendly?”

“I think so.” Ok, so no need to call the hotel and check, we’ll just show up. Something happens, we’ll work our way out just like so many times before.

And so I landed in Medellin, WITH A DOG. During the entire entrance process I was shaking from head to toe. “Never put your real ‘direccion’ (address) on the immigration form, they’ll phone ahead, alert the amigos and kidnap you” echoed through my mind.

Getting into a random cab, well that didn’t help my anxiety much either.

Bienvenido

As we entered the hotel, couldn’t help but notice how just how courteous, how immaculately dressed/coiffed the staff was. All smiles, there were no obstructions getting the dog in, but I could sense the slightest bit of nervousness in the staff’s demeanor.

Ok, we’re in our room. Nice place. I grab a water glass, plate from the mini-bar, set it on the floor. Twinkles, exhausted, wolfs it down. All good but we dare not leave the hotel until daybreak.

Next morning, I took Twinkles out for a walk. Our room was on the second floor could have taken the stairs, rather boarded the elevator which was about the size of a phone booth. A bit claustrophobic. Exiting the elevator we walked out entrance and began to acclimate to surroundings.

“This place is gorgeous!” Abundant trees, a meandering river, and nice sidewalks (a rarity in Latin America.)

Meticulously kept, just like the hotel staff.

Feeling safe, getting familiar, we saw a sight you don’t see every day. The military were marching down an adjacent street. Spacing between the heavily armed soldiers had to be at least 25-metres apart. Hmm …

Adios?

As we arrived back to the hotel our reception was a little bit more nervy. Our LatAm travels had taught us to keep the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on door so staff wouldn’t discover the dog.

Here there was total disregard for that strategy.

At least four maids tearing the room apart. Taking pictures, evidence for something. The water glass, food plate were gone. “Mira! No molestar chicas!” Ushering the staff out, this gringo was infuriated. “I’m going to call the front desk, throw a fit!”

The staff beat me to the punch. Phone rings, “Yes the manager would like to have a word with you in our pleasant courtyard.”

“Ok great he’s going to apologize; I’ll be right down.” Dressed in Americano tipico of shorts and flip flops we meet.

“Well Mr. Wh#re, we’ve had a complaint. One of the guests noticed some dog poop in the elevator this morning.”

Christ, the thing was a shoebox, trip was 15-seconds, dog don’t do that, WHAT THE F#CK! Well, looks like dogs aren’t allowed after all and they crafted a plot to kick us out. Did I mention the Colombia hygiene thing? So why were we allowed entrance in the first place?

Tranquilo

Then I recalled my friend saying, “Colombians don’t like confrontation.” Well that explains everything. Using that helpful hint, El Jefe, the Manager and I did the usual posturing. But it soon blossomed into a delightful empathetic conversation. How?

We found a commonality.

Come to find out the two new amigos shared a services-business background. His hospitality, mine restaurants. We celebrated, commiserated the challenges of our industry and shared learnings. We both got better as a result of this potentially confrontational turned serendipitous encounter.

Once we felt comfortable with each other, he gave me a lesson in Colombian history -- the etiquette, the culture, 75-years of civil unrest. That explained everything I experienced in last 24-hours.

I got a crash course in the local SOCIETAL NORMS. And came to realize although you might not agree nor understand them, you better get comfortable with the reality that ‘THEY’ MAKE THE RULES and ‘THEM’ probably do so for a reason.

When I came back to the room, Twinkles was resting comfortably, the glass and plate were replaced by a proper dog bowl. UNBELIEVABLE!

Now armed with ‘local knowledge’ we enjoyed two of the most wonderful, SAFEST, FRIENDLIEST days of our lives.

The night before checkout, I inquired to my new bestie, El Jefe if he had any rooms available.

“No Mr. Corr (his English miracuolously got better) but I have made you arrangements for the only hotel in Medellin that accepts dogs.”

“Great, what’s the name of it?”

“Hotel Du Parc. It’s a French hotel, very dog friendly, you and your dog Twinkle will LOVE IT THERE!  But just know that Twinkle and you are welcome back here anytime!”

We have a roller coaster experience every day, but that’s why we love it there!

And this parque is brought to you by ‘Hotel Du Parc Royal’

Pondering Points

• I imagine if you’ve gotten to this point, you’re probably a dog lover. Taking France Colombia’s contrasting attitudes, where does the do you think the United States fits in? Why?

• France has very supportive dog laws. Do you think that influences ‘in the moment’ decision making or are decisions made simply using common sense?

• Does this article change your mind about ‘projecting YOUR values’ onto different cultures. Can you really change anything?

Action Points (provided by a guy who’s wrestled with bi-polar his whole life)

• When you’re riled up, is it possible to take just a few moments to gain composure?

• Are you able to read subtle cues, identify a potentially contentious interaction and develop a reaction plan in advance?

• Are you always aware of the power dynamic? In the interaction between Tom and the Manager of a small independent hotel in a foreign country, did Tom have any power?

• Curiosity is fundamental to intelligence (well that’s my Dentist’s opinion.) Pick a cultural, societal topic of your choice (e.g. women in the workplace) and talk to someone who’s lived in a different country to gain perspectives why societal attitudes, conditions are different.

Note: All images are property of the author